Though it’s not often diagnosed or really discussed, anyone who’s ever been stuck standing with a group of strangers who are staring at each other wordlessly is acutely familiar with the condition known as sedatephobia, or the fear of silence.Įven if you’re not technically afraid of silence, if you’re a human being, you are probably deeply uncomfortable with it, especially in a conversation. You could even offer to go through the process together or pay for an estate planning attorney if money is an issue and you're in the position to pick up the bill.Įrin Lowry is the author of "Broke Millennial Talks Money: Scripts, Stories and Advice to Navigate Awkward Financial Conversations." Follow her on Twitter. Do you have any recommendations for an estate planning attorney to use? "Īn answer of "Oh, we never worried about that stuff" gives you a lot of insight about the state of your parents' estate plan. If you know that style is just never going to work with your mom and dad, try getting context clues about their estate planning preparedness by discuss your own: "Now that we're married, Joe and I are working to get our wills and power of attorney stuff done. So, I want to ensure we have all the legal documents in place so if that ever were to come up, we'd be prepared and could focus on your health and care right away." You could be direct with your parents by stating your concern and the ask: "I know we have a history of dementia in our family, and that concerns me. A power of attorney, advanced healthcare directives and a living will are all documents used while parents are still alive, but unable to make decisions for themselves. Yes, a will is part of an estate plan, but there are many other documents that are just as important. Don't get it twisted - you're not asking about their will. It is critical that we start to have conversations with our parents about their retirement and estate plans. That means our parents are inching closer and closer to retirement, as well as aging into a stage where health issues will likely become a concern. Millennials and Gen Xers are aging (elder Millennials will hit 40 in 2021!). Saying no, giving a reason and then offering an alternative plan is a way to both protect your wallet and your friendships. Do you want to come over for game night instead?" So be honest and employ the counteroffer technique: "I appreciate the invite, but I'm trying to rebuild my emergency savings fund after the dumpster fire that was 2020. They might start inventing all sorts of reasons that you don't want to hang out if you don't give them one. Your friends might brush that off once or twice, but if you keep saying no without any context, then they might start thinking it's not you, it's them. Too often, we decline invitations that we can't afford by simply saying, "No, I'm busy" or "No, I can't." Instead, you can keep it vague like, "I want to pay off one of my student loans by June" or "I'm aiming to get rid of my credit card debt by December."Īside from having a friend serve as your accountability buddy, sharing specifics provides context. You don't have to share, for example, how much you want to save by the end of the year. Tell a friend about a financial goal for the year
If that's your worry, you can turn to sites like LinkedIn to cold email people who do similar work.
While it's usually illegal to fire you for asking about compensation, a boss can always manufacture another reason to lay you off. Now, it's possible you don't feel comfortable asking a co-worker because you fear it could result in retaliation from management at work.
Would you be willing to share your ballpark salary with me?" And I think you have some information that could help me. Asking someone three levels above you is just being nosey.Ĭareer and negotiation expert Alexandra Dickinson recommends a three-sentence script: "I'm doing research because…. It should be someone who either does your job or just was promoted out of your job. Just be sure you reach out to the right people. Plus, it lays the groundwork for future negotiations.
You'll find out the true market rate for your job by asking people and not just turning to websites that aggregate data. This is especially critical if you believe you're underpaid. Whether you're a full-time employee or an independent contractor, it's important to start asking co-workers (or people who do similar work) how much they make.
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